giovedì, 17 luglio 2008

SMILE FROM THE STATES

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a
restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he
walked in, sat down and looked over the menu...

Raw Tourist: $5
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The guy called his Friend over and asked, 'Why such
a huge price difference for the politicians?

The cook replied, 'Have you ever tried to clean one?
They're so full of shit, it takes all morning.'

arzigogolato da monicaira per perdere altro tempo prezioso alle ore 09:31 | Permalink | commenti (3)
categoria:smile
venerdì, 20 giugno 2008
UN PUNTO DI VISTA DIRETTAMENTE DAGLI STATES
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.
 
The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know,
Obama is a 'post turtle.'

 
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
 
The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain.
'You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there.'
arzigogolato da monicaira per perdere altro tempo prezioso alle ore 10:38 | Permalink | commenti (1)
categoria:smile
lunedì, 07 aprile 2008
A QUICK LAUGH: robbery

A man walks in a bank, gets in line and when it is his turn he pulls out a gun...and robs the bank!  Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses..he  turns around and asks the next customer in line. Did you see me rob this bank?'
 The customer replies, 'Yes!' 
 The bank robber raises his gun , points it to the customer's head and  BANG !!! 
 Shoots him in the head and kills him! 
 He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man,'Did you see me rob this bank?' 
 The man calmly responds ... 'No, but my wife did!'
arzigogolato da monicaira per perdere altro tempo prezioso alle ore 15:45 | Permalink | commenti (2)
categoria:smile
lunedì, 04 febbraio 2008

JUST A LAUGH FROM THE STATES

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital in

Washington D.C. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Father?" said the nurse

"I would really like to see President Bill and Senator Hillary Clinton before I die," whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; the Clintons would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Hillary commented to Bill, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it certainly will help our images and might even get me elected President. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN IT."

Bill agreed--it was a very good thing for her campaign once they put out a press release about it.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the old priest took Bill's hand in his right hand and Hillary's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Bill Clinton spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

"Amen" said Bill.

"Amen" said Hillary.

The old priest continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."
arzigogolato da monicaira per perdere altro tempo prezioso alle ore 10:12 | Permalink | commenti (2)
categoria:smile
giovedì, 25 ottobre 2007
JUST A LAUGH FROM THE STATES
Catalog Order
Dear Madam:
 
Thank you for your recent order from our Sex Toy Shop catalog. 
You requested a large red vibrator seen in the picture on page five of a display wall in our shop.
Please select something else.  
The item you requested is our fire extinguisher.
 
Sincerely,
Customer Service
arzigogolato da monicaira per perdere altro tempo prezioso alle ore 09:17 | Permalink | commenti (3)
categoria:smile

Heracleum blog & web tools